Holidays are already ending soon. Im entering the third week of June holidays starting from tmrw. So far I have done nth productive or worth to mention of.
First week was extra lessons, alongside my birthday. Such a disappointment this year. All of my closest friends did not even sent me a text. Dk what kind of friends I have kept with me. But, I did receive a cake and card with well wishes from Adli, Rachel and Meghana. Such a sweet bunch to come my void deck. Although it wasnt much, it's the thoughts that counts, considering that they were not exactly close with me, so thankful yup! ;) The first two weeks were time spent on watching kdrama. Besides that, I practically did nth useful to my studies. T.T
But I did started History revision, morw or less done now! Did a bit of Math practice and am starting on Econs tmrw to prepare for mye. :) first internal formal exams since the start of JC. GP mye was already over, dk how well did I fare! ><
Recently thinking of alot of stuffs. Particularly friendship. 17 years of life thus far and I still haven't managed to find a true best friend. Quite a saddening fact...
BGR problems. Aft separating into diff jc, me and kh definitely did drifted. We did not meet since march holidays and were talking lesser as days passed. Came to realize the fact that distance does matter afterall. I blamed myself for not cherishing him and whatever he had done for me thus far when he was still beside me. Not that he isnt beside me now, but the feeling just differs after we went to diff schools. I still dont know my feelings for him. Am I taking him for granted for the past 3 years that I haven't realize my actual feelings for him? Or am I just purely shunning out him from being my boyfr without any reasons?
Whatever the reasons are, it's already all too late. We are meeting and interacting with different people in different schools. Environment changes everyone. So his feelings for me will eventually fade away, or has already faded since idk when. I cannot be selfish and ask him to wait for me since im not 100% sure that we can be tgt aft Alevels.
The fact that such a close and trusted friend of mine will eventually leave me just saddens me so much.
Just hope that I can mix around and interact with new ppl in school, opening up to more people easily to have a fruitful JC life instead of just living in a shell everyday for 2 years consecutively! :)
To the next post! ;)